How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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