My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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