love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
from now on my penis is your penis
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
