Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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