Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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