marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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