Soap is not a condiment
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
