My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
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In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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