I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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