Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize