one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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