Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
