he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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