he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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