: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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