He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
