I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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