I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
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We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
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That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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