Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
