god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she peed on how many people?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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