his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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