Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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