There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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