Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
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He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
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Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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