peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
did i walk over a car last night?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
