They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
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