Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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