why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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