I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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