I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
