My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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