i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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