how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He felt like a one man threesome
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
