what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
