Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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