I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
