Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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