toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
