i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
