she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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