I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
