playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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