I just saw a hot homeless man
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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