he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
