We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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