So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
