I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
