I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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