I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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