I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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