I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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