wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
