Plan B is the new Plan A
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize