Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
