if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
