Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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