so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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