I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
