You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
