Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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