and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
