Cold hands, warm shart.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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