He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
