he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
