Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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