My sheets look like a crime scene.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
