if i can run in heels then i can drive
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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